Why does my girlfriend make me so mad sometimes that I want to slap her?

My girlfriend has to be the dumbest woman on the planet. Every time we go she has toilet paper stuck to her shoe and little pieces all through over her face from cutting herself while shaving. She always seems to trip before reaching the car door and falls in the mud or snow. I have even tried to park the big dually Ford F350 away from mud and grime but she always manages to find something. Last year we were excited because our favorite band Sugarland was in town. I bought the tickets early enough so as not to miss out and I would be damned if that dumb broad didn't toss them out when she was cleaning the double wide. I was so mad I hauled off and slapped her. Then I told her that, "I loved her but sometimes she made me so mad, I had to hit her." She nodded OK and started weeping. Well when the tears are a comin'-a-down I get furious. And I showed her the back and front of my hand. She learned her lesson and quickly rummaged through the diaper filled trash until she found those tickets. I don't know what would have happened had she not found them. Actually, I do know what would have happened but I can't post that on the net. She is always saying stupid things and interrupting me. And we all know that a woman never interrupts a man. Not in my trailer she ain't. I'm the king of my double wide. I do love her, but she makes me so mad sometimes. I have to give her a little body English. Or else she would hurt herself being female and unintelligent. What would you do if you had a knuckle dragging, mouth breather for a mate?