Am I a terrible person? I'm confused?

No, I don't think you are terrible. It would be hard for us to just guess here. We could guess anything from anti social to Asperger's Syndrome, to just being shy to maybe your religion, I know a lot of people who behave like that and they all have the same religion. We could also guess some kind of physical abuse from being molested or d to just being beaten. It seems like a detachment, it would be hard for us to guess where it comes from. It seems like you have had some kind of trauma in your life, so you are putting up barriers so you don't feel the pain of that hurt, but I am at a loss as to guess what kind of trauma you have been through. It is wrong of us to just guess things and possibly project things on you that you don't have. You should look into counseling and see if you can find the link to this behavior. Since you suggest that you have never been affectionate unless you know the person, it would suggest that your issue started in early childhood. I think you are the only one who can answer this.